Questions and Doubts

 Two quick notes on interactions with individuals after the Resurrection of the Savior.

1. Mary Magdalene was first to the scene of the empty tomb. Of all the Lord's disciples, she got up earliest in the morning, she came to offer devotions, she demonstrated faith in His importance. But she, like them all, had no understanding of the miracle of His resurrection. Her first move upon seeing an empty tomb--empty of the corpse that was lying there the night before, but with the linens carefully folded--was to run to tell the huddling and despairing apostles what she witnessed. Peter and John came running and saw what she saw, but as they left, according to John's account (John 20), Mary remained, in shock, pouring out her tears and emotions of loss and love in grief for the missing Lord. It seems she was not crumpled as the artistic renderings often have it, but standing and even moving as she wept, until, at one point, she stooped and her gaze met with two angels inside the tomb. Now, I don't know about you, but I think if I ever encountered an angel of glory, I'd be a little like Mary and let them have the first word. They were aware of her presence, and surely of her thoughts as well, but their opening communication wasn't to deliver a message, it was to attend to her emotional state. Their reaction to her arrival was to ask why she was crying. This gave her a chance to express the emotion verbally, to deal with it by externalizing it, and this prepared her mind and heart to hear the message she would later hear of His resurrection. That message would be delivered instead by the Risen Lord Himself, who was observing this interaction from behind her without her knowledge, and also who, despite already knowing her emotional state better than she herself could even articulate, chose to make His first words attention to her feelings, asking what the angels also just did: why weepest thou? Our Lord knows better than anyone how we feel. He asks us to follow Him no matter how we feel, but His perfect includes a perfect compassion. He asked Mary twice, through His servants and then through His own voice to give a reason for her sorrow, to subordinate her heart's unspoken remorse to the Word, whose rational power did not invalidate it, but irrevocably altered it. He shared the astonishing intellectual evidence of His return to life with a word of intimate familiarity and commanded her recognition with the gentlest string of sounds her hurting heart could hear: her own name. Our Lord knows us. We, and our ignorant and broken human hearts are no mystery to Him. He's calling us by name, as His sheep, so we can put down our hurt, recognize Him, and come away joyful. He wants to know why we are crying. But He already knows. When we share our pain with Him, he lifts us.

2. Thomas had the same moment of doubt that all the disciples did. Three days, reckoned in the Jewish way, of uncertainty that was not shattered until the evidence came in. Peter and John went to the tomb on the same doubt--the word that Jesus was no longer there was troubling enough to go from a walk to a run, but they couldn't just take the women's word for it, and didn't yet know what the empty tomb meant. there was a week-end stretch in which the only rational conclusion even the most faithful could draw from the events was, "well, I guess that's over now. Now what do we do?" We saddle Thomas with a uniquely bad rap because he wanted more than just the testimony of others, he wanted his own testimony. We define him by his worst act, forever dubbing him "doubting Thomas" for the same wish we all have--to know for ourselves better than others can tell us, to want to verify what we've trusted in. And how did the Lord treat his desire to see with his own eyes? He indulged it. He even magnified it--inviting Thomas to handle his wounds--the stigmata that He chose to keep despite an otherwise incorruptible and immortal form so that He could remember continually what He had done for us, and so that we would instantly recognize Him. He blessed Thomas for believing, and choosing to act on his beliefs--he transformed the belief to knowledge in some respects, and left Thomas with incentive to discover the fruits of his faith in others. The Lord's pattern of drawing us in to greater and greater levels of witness is the pattern He wants for us all. And while the faith of those who believe without needing evidence may have greater reward, there's no sign anywhere in scripture of the Lord being displeased with Thomas's faith. He rewards all those who seek Him. Let's not judge those seeking evidence. Let's provide them with it. And if you are one seeking evidence of God's grace, power, love, and truth, please accept my testimony: He lives, He loves you, He can save you, You must learn about Him and learn to obey Him, but it's worth it. Testimony is, in fact, one form of evidence. I'll be glad to help as you discover others.